Truly and Horribly, I Love You
by darthvair65
Summary: Even in the chaos of the zombie apocalypse, Axel and Roxas find ways to pursue their relationship. What happens when someone disrupts it? Chances are, it won’t end well. Axel/Roxas, zombie apocalypse AU, sequel to Toy Guns and Hershey Kisses.
1. Truly and Horribly, I Love You

**Title:** Truly and Horribly, I Love You  
**Pairing: **Axel/Roxas

**Warnings: ****carnage, sex, language, minor character death, blowjobs and blood spatters. Also, this won't make any sense if you haven't read Toy Guns and Hershey Kisses – so if you haven't yet, go read it first!**  
**Rating: **** R**  
**Beta: **the BetaMistress alovelysilence

**Word count:** 3500  
**A/N: ****Resident Evil made me do it. Well, and chokethewind egged me on XD.**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do get a kick out of writing for the fandom. The premise of this story was more or less based on/ripped from zombie movies, books, and video games – all of which I love a great deal. Movies: "Night of the Living Dead," "28 Days Later," "Shaun of the Dead," "Zombieland," and "I Am Legend." Books: _The Zombie Survival Guide_, _World War Z_. Games: _Resident Evil 4_, _Resident Evil 5_. Also, a friend of mine created what became known as The Game of Death – the antithesis to the Game of Life, wherein one must survive the zombie apocalypse with characters ripped from Devil May Cry, Supernatural, and other shows. I don't particularly like Valentine's Day, and spent this year watching zombie movies instead. Axel doesn't feel the same way.

**Summary: ** Even in the chaos of the zombie apocalypse, Axel and Roxas find a routine that suits them and their particular relationship. What happens when someone disrupts it? Chances are, it won't end well. Zombie apocalypse AU, sequel to Toy Guns and Hershey Kisses.

Let it be known, first and foremost, that theirs was not a healthy relationship. They were hurting and alone, these boys, searching not for true never-ending love but for a bit of companionship and maybe mutual pleasure in the face of death.

Roxas was not exactly a well-adjusted human being, if you could even call him human at all. His humanity shone through the brusque, armored exterior in brief moments usually brought on by the presence of chocolate and, once in a while, Axel. These moments could end just as quickly with the wrong word or phrase, barbed wire suddenly appearing around him, his own words cutting deeper than the machete he carried. It was in those moments that Axel saw glimpses of the more frightening aspects of his personality.

This Roxas was one Axel was still learning to deal with, and he had the bruises to show for it. Digging deeper into the mind of a child soldier raised side by side with the outbreak of infection was like asking to have your leg blown off by a land mine.

Eventually they'd kill each other; not over the relationship (if you could call it that) but because their stupidity would get one of them infected. Then all that's left is to kill or be killed.

Axel reminded himself of all of this, felt his mind shrug and ask _Yeah, and?_ Then the ritual came to a close; Axel swallowed and readjusted his position on the narrow bunk he and Roxas were sharing at the moment.

It was now a more common occurrence for Roxas to let him stay after having sex; Axel figured that placed him a little higher in the blonde's mind than the semi-automatic, and decided he wasn't going to complain. As if he could talk at all at the moment, with Roxas' legs tangled with his and blankets coiled around them in a narrow but comfortable nest, and Roxas' soft breaths against his collarbone, his body curled next to Axel's as he dozed. His guard was almost completely shut down, not wavering even when Axel's palm slid over the sweat-sheened skin of his shoulders and back.

Suddenly Roxas wacked his bicep blindly, murmuring in his sleep and nuzzling against Axel's shoulder.

_Or maybe not so unguarded_, Axel snorted, muttering "Sorry."

Roxas resettled, one eye opening and narrowing at the redhead. "You're so bony," he complained.

"You're a brat," Axel whispered, "ruining our quiet moment."

Roxas' teeth bit into his collarbone, a sharp warning against continuing that line of discussion.

"Ok, ok," Axel hissed. "Got it."

Axel got comfortable again and started dozing, his muscles tired and aching after their earlier activities. Suddenly they were rudely awakened by an ear-splitting howl that broke through the quiet calm of the room, ringing in Axel's ears and making him wince. "Owwww," he moaned, covering his ears as Roxas did the same.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Roxas screamed over the din.

"BREACH ALARM," Axel screamed back, lurching into a sitting position and scanning the floor for his clothing. "IT MEANS WE'VE GOT INFECTED IN THE COMPOUND."

Roxas scrambled out of bed and started pulling on his clothes, allowing Axel to fall in right behind him. Axel looked over at him a minute later; the machete was in his hand, handgun – nicknamed Absalom tentatively - tucked into his pants, and trusty rifle slung over his shoulder. Roxas nodded and gave him a stern thumbs-up, signaling he was ready to go.

Axel nodded and opened the door, shotgun raised and ready as he checked both ends of the hallway. "CLEAR!" Axel hollered over the alarm, signaling Roxas to follow. The blond stayed at his back, keeping watch over the areas outside Axel's line of sight. The chances of zombies being in the main building were infinitesimal, but it didn't hurt to be prepared.

"WHERE'RE WE GOING?" the blond yelled after several minutes.

"THE ROUND ROOM," Axel answered. "THAT'S WHERE ALL THE SECURITY TAPES FEED INTO – WE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE HOW MANY AND WHERE THEY ARE."

"I THINK I'M GOING DEAF."

"IT'S CERTAINLY LIKELY. I'M USED TO IT."

When they finally arrived at their destination, most of the other soldiers were already assembled. Luckily the alarm was significantly reduced within the circular room.

"Axel!" Xigbar roared, stalking up to them. "We've been looking all over for you, where've you been?"

Axel sighed and brushed past him, ears still ringing vaguely. Roxas followed behind him, exchanging a glare with the older soldier.

"I was headed down to get Roxas," Axel answered. "He's never had to deal with the breach alarm before." He glanced over, noticing that Roxas had a finger wiggling around in his ear. "You ok, kid?"

Roxas didn't answer for a minute, then screamed, "WHAT?"

"Oh, jeeze," Larxene groaned from the corner. "Someone duct tape his mouth shut before we all go deaf."

"Ooookay, Roxas," Axel leaned down so the blond could hear him better. "Quit yelling or Larxene's probably going to kill you."

Xigbar just stared with his one eye shifting minutely between them.

"OH. Ok," he finished, trying to whisper but still speaking too loudly.

"That's better," Axel said, patting his shoulder. "So how many are there?"

"Ten, eleven," Demyx reported. "Can't really get a good count, they keep moving."

"They haven't breached the building yet?"

"Nope, all out on the grounds."

"Good. Anyone want to be the bait?"

"Why not put the kid out there?" Xigbar suggested silkily.

Axel frowned. "Because he's the sniper. I'll go out to take them down, but I'd like someone out there in the zombie suit and someone else with me to kill them. Any takers?"

"I guess I can go with you," Larxene sighed dramatically.

"That leaves our man in the zombie suit," Axel looked at each of the remaining soldiers critically, skipping over Roxas, who was still partially deaf. "Demyx?"

"Oh, _man_," Demyx said miserably. "That sucks."

"The chances of you surviving are extremely good," Luxord chimed in reasonably. "Especially with Roxas keeping an eye from above."

"Huh?" Roxas prompted, having heard his name vaguely amid the conversation.

"Yeah, ok. I guess I'll go put the suit on."

"Ok, let's debrain these fuckers," Axel yelled. "The rest of you, keep an eye on the monitors. If anything else comes up, call me ASAP. Right?"

"Of course," Luxord said, flipping a few switches. "The outdoor lights are fully functional and operating."

"Roxas," Axel said professionally, turning to the blond. "How's that ear?"

Roxas blinked. "A little better. What's going on?"

"We're headed out to kill these things – me and Larxene, anyways. Demyx'll be in the zombie suit –"

"The _what_?"

"The zombie suit. Oh, wait. It's . . . this suit of armor our old scientist created. Zombies don't like the taste of metal, see? As long as you're in it, they can't bite you or anything."

"How come we don't use them all the time?"

"Because it also immobilizes you. Too heavy. Anyway. Demyx will be out in the armor acting as bait, so I need you to snipe whatever goes at him. Demyx is a wuss – he'll scream bloody murder whenever they try to take a bite out of him, so just keep an ear out."

"What about you?"

"Demyx is untouchable in the armor, we're more vulnerable. If you see anything coming at us, don't hesitate to shoot."

Roxas nodded. "Understood."

"Alright, get up top on the roof. You'll have a good viewpoint of the grounds from there."

The blond paused for a moment, and left for the roof.

Axel pulled on his thick Kevlar armor, reloaded his handguns and trusty shotgun and headed to the main door out to the grounds. Larxene was already there, her guns loaded and strapped into their holsters.

"Ready for a good debraining, chief?" Larxene asked.

"Always. Where's our bait?"

"Right here," Demyx hollered, the clanging sounds of the heavy suit getting closer after a while. He also had a hunk of rotting meat in his gloved hand.

"After you," Axel bowed, pulling the giant door open enough for Demyx to squeeze by.

"This sucks," he heard the other man mumble.

"Get over it, you know you're going to be fine," Axel said, waiting a few minutes for the zombies to catch the scent of rotting meat. "Wave it around in the air, Dem!"

"I can't! My range of motion is zero!" Demyx hollered back. "Aaagh!" he yelped, pointing as one of the infected came barreling towards him.

Just as Axel was getting ready to fire the zombie's head suddenly exploded, sending black blood and grey matter across the grass and Demyx's metal suit. Axel glanced up at the roof, barely managing to make out the barrel of Roxas' rifle. "Nice shot," he whistled quietly.

"Kid's got a good eye," Larxene conceded. "But I could've done that with my eyes closed."

"Try it some day," Axel smirked, and headed out onto the grounds to kill the remaining invaders.

*

Xigbar, Axel noticed, had been watching them very carefully in the weeks following the breach; every conversation was being monitored, and Axel had no qualms about assuming he'd probably find some way to watch them move from room to room at night. It was for precisely this reason that Axel had drastically reduced the number of his night-time visits with Roxas. Finally, when Xigbar was assigned to the night shift, Axel snuck down to Roxas' room with no fear of being caught by the older man. Roxas wasn't there when he arrived, but Axel assumed he was in the showers, seeing as he'd just returned from his own shift. So he removed his shoes and made himself comfortable on the bunk, leaning back against the cold wall and thinking about the night's possible activities. The thought alone, given their lack of time together recently, was enough to make him half-hard.

Roxas returned from the showers a few minutes later, clad only in an old pair of flannel pajama pants. His hair was still wet; drops of water fell from the spikes, then trailed down over his skin where they fell, sliding over toned muscle until they reached his low-slung pajama pants. Axel smiled, feeling his cock harden even more.

"Hey there," Axel said, fingers trailing lightly over the front of his pants.

"Hey," Roxas answered, toweling his hair dry. He threw the towel into a pile of dirty clothing in the corner and crossed over to his bunk, moving to straddle Axel's hips. "Hope you didn't start without me."

"Nope," Axel murmured, hands roaming all over Roxas' bare back. "Just waiting."

Roxas ground against Axel's hips, grinning evilly when the redhead writhed beneath him and moaned. He licked his lips, whispering in Axel's ear. "Want me to suck you off?"

Axel leered at him. "You're treating?"

"Sure. I can be generous when I want to be," Roxas said, nibbling his ear before sliding down to the floor between his legs. Axel let his head fall back against the wall as the blond started working the buttons of his pants open, dragging the zipper down slowly and torturously. He lifted his hips, allowing Roxas to shuck his pants down and off, leaving him in his black boxer-briefs. Roxas palmed over his erection, rubbing him through the cotton firmly.

" 'm so hard, babe," Axel muttered, eyelids fluttering closed as Roxas continued his ministrations. Then he felt the blonde's warm, wet mouth close around his cloth-covered shaft; a stuttering groan fell from his lips as his fingers found purchase in the blonde's soft, damp spikes of hair and tugged.

Suddenly Roxas pulled away, murmuring something that sounded like "pushy"; Axel shuddered, a brief flash of cool air hitting his groin as Roxas pulled his underwear down. Just as quickly his cock was engulfed in the blonde's mouth, his tongue massaging over the underside as he took him deeper, shifting closer as Axel spread his legs to accommodate him.

He was panting by the time Roxas swallowed around his erection, throat muscles working over the velvety head before he pulled back, sucking and fondling Axel's balls. The redhead moaned loudly and debauchedly, gripping Roxas' hair tightly with one hand and the sheets with the other.

Axel heard the door slam open abruptly and jolted out of his pleasure-filled world, making a grab for the handgun he knew was hidden under the pillow; Roxas choked and pulled back, coughing and trying to wipe the precome and saliva from his lips. The haze finally clearing, Axel blinked as he realized he was pointing the gun directly at Xigbar, who was standing in the doorway with a wide eye and an unhinged jaw.

"Holy shi-"

"Get out," Axel yelled menacingly, pulling the safety back on the gun.

With one last glance to the blond still recovering on the floor, Xigbar slammed the door shut again.

Axel didn't move for several minutes, panting and still aiming at the door. Roxas got up, wiping his mouth and face with a dirty shirt. "You, too," he said quietly.

"Huh?"

"You too. Get out."

Axel faltered. "But –"

"_Now._"

Axel didn't hesitate, pulling his clothes back on haphazardly as he tried to get some distance between them before Roxas threw something.

*

Axel managed to avoid Xigbar most of the next day while Roxas studiously ignored him, but he couldn't avoid him at the poker league game. The older man settled himself next to Axel at the round table while Luxord began shuffling.

"So," he cleared his throat. "You and Blondie are pretty close, huh?"

Axel scowled. "More or less."

"He always do favors for you?"

"No."

"You took him under your wing pretty fast after his parents left him here."

"His father threatened to hunt me down and eviscerate me if I didn't keep an eye on him, so it's really an act of self-preservation."

"And he just likes to thank you once in a while? Lucky you."

"It's not like that," Axel hissed. "We're good friends."

"Way I see it is you're keeping him pretty close. Mind you, some of us haven't gotten any in a few years, so I think you're holding out."

"He likes what we do. He's free to come –"

"I bet."

" – and go as he pleases. I don't control him, it's all his decision."

"Then you don't mind if I ask for a little one on one time, do you?"

Axel bristled. "Look, Xig, he doesn't belong to me. You can ask him, but I don't know if he'll agree."

"I'm sure we'll see eye to eye," Xigbar drawled as Xaldin sauntered into the room, sitting next to Luxord.

Axel cleared his throat. "Deal us in."

Luxord cut the battered deck and distributed the cards, making no mention of the conversation he undoubtedly overheard.

*

Roxas was returning from his patrol duties when Xigbar accosted him, calling out his name and asking him to wait up. Already apprehensive, Roxas stopped for him to catch up reluctantly.

"So, Blondie," Xigbar drawled, coming up behind Roxas and slinging an arm over the blonde's shoulder. Roxas stiffened and looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "What'll it take for you to suck my dick?"

"Back off," Roxas said, shrugging out of Xigbar's hold. "I'm not interested."

"I'm your superior, kid," Xigbar grinned. "If I tell you to do something, you best do it."

"You asked what it would take, and I declined completely. You didn't tell me to do anything."

"Heh, thought I'd at least give you the courtesy. So now I'm going to _tell _you, suck my fucking dick," he growled, making a grab for Roxas' arm.

Roxas shied out of his reach, disgust spreading across his face. "I don't want to," he muttered.

"And what, you like sucking Axel's dick? He –"

"Axel and I," Roxas said loudly, overriding him, "have an understanding."

"Ain't that funny kiddo, because Axel says you're up for grabs."

Roxas stared. "You're lying. He wouldn't say that."

"Just keep telling yourself that, kid," Xigbar chuckled. "I just got finished talking with the man himself over a friendly game of poker. Says you like it pretty rough - I'm into that. Don't mind getting roughed up during sex. Never met anyone who liked taking it dry though," Xigbar leered, pressing Roxas back against the hall and looming over him. "You're a kinky little bitch, huh?"

Suddenly Roxas smiled; it had an intensely creepy effect, all teeth bared in a sinister way. "Is that what he said?" he asked seductively, hands moving towards the thick leather belt around his waist.

Xigbar's leer darkened. "Hell, yes."

"Guess again," Roxas growled, whipping the handgun Axel had given him months before from its place at his right hip, between his jeans and his skin, and nudging the business end of it into Xigbar's solar plexus.

"Woah, woah, hold on there, Axel didn't mention anything about gun kink. Gun kink's at least, ugh, twice as awesome as –"

"Back up," Roxas said; when Xigbar complied he reached over his shoulder with the other hand and pulled his machete out of its makeshift scabbard, pointing it directly at the one-eyed man's chest. "You've gone and offended me. I could kill you right now - you know that, right?"

"Look kid, I'm just going on what Axel said –"

"No you're not," Roxas said with the creepy smile. "And even if you are, you seem to have missed a few important details."

"What, did I forget an important kink or something? Come on, you want it rough, I'll give it to you rough. Forget about Axel, I can make you hurt so good you'll never want to stop."

"That," Roxas said, his eyes sparkling, "is the problem. You're lying about what Axel said, and I know it." The edge of the machete came to rest against the side of Xigbar's neck; the older man tried to tilt away from the blade, confusion in his eyes. "Want to know how?" he asked, cocking the safety on the gun.

Xigbar gave a minute shrug, not wanting to cut himself on the blade's edge.

"I top, bitch," the blond said viciously, pulling the trigger.

A single shot rang out, echoing through the basement halls.

When Axel came down the hall fifteen minutes later looking for the source of the sound, he almost slipped in the pool of Xigbar's blood. He stood there, staring and putting the pieces together, until he realized that someone would find the body and then there'd really be trouble. Axel dragged it to a closet and closed the door, then went in search of the culprit.

*

When Axel went to Roxas' room that night he did not immediately go over to the blond, who was perched stiffly at the edge of his bed. Instead he remained at the door, his back against the cold metal as he avoided Roxas' intense gaze. "You killed him," he said after a long, pregnant silence.

Roxas nodded solemnly. "I did."

"You didn't need to kill him, Roxas."

"He deserved what he got," Roxas answered, tone satisfied.

"Did he?"

Roxas nodded again. "And I got what I wanted."

Axel blanched. "You wanted to kill Xigbar?"

"It's like this thing with you – I don't have to, but I want to. I didn't have to kill Xigbar, but after all the things he said and meant to do, I wanted to."

"I did tell him you were free to do what you wanted. He just took that a little far, huh?"

"He seemed a little . . . confused," Roxas smirked.

"The others aren't going to stand for this, you know," Axel said wryly. "Come morning everyone'll be out for blood."

"Maybe we should get a head start," Roxas suggested, shrugging and looking at Axel shrewdly. "Run away. Would probably be safer for everyone, anyways – I don't know if you've noticed, but I have the makings of a psychopath."

"I noticed," Axel muttered, noting his careless indifference over killing another human being. "It could go either way out there," Axel continued quietly. "We'll just be the death of each other. Hell, you could turn around and kill me too."

"I won't – I'm a little attached to you. And I'm not afraid," Roxas asserted; finally Axel met his gaze calmly. "Are you?"

"You think we can take on the army of the infected singlehandedly?"

"Nah, killing zombies is the added bonus."

"Of getting me to run away with you?"

"Why not? If it's really the end of the world, don't you want to go down in a blaze of glory?" Roxas smirked. "That sounds like your style."

"We'll be like Bonnie and Clyde," Axel grinned, watching Roxas reload a shotgun – his favorite, a Lupara. After spending so much time with Axel Roxas actually got the reference; he snorted appreciatively.

Looking up at him through his bangs Roxas deadpanned, "You can be Bonnie."

* * *

Well, thank you all for reading! I hope you all enjoyed it, feel free to leave reviews :D There is an epilogue, as you will see – but I would just like to say that if you don't want to read something really depressing, you don't have to. This is my "happy ending." THE EPILOGUE IS DEPRESSING. So it's not required, haha.

Needless to say, if the next thing I send my BetaMistress isn't some form of Moped Romance she's going to beat me with a stick.


	2. Epilogue

Ok, so just so everybody's clear: this is depressing. It's the ending no one wants to see, but it is what might await our Bonnie and Clyde.

Yes, this is short. Most of the comments thus far have mentioned this, and it is intended. I've extended it slightly now, but not extensively. So if you think this is short and abrupt, that's what I wanted.

__ __ __ __ __ __

Roxas knew, from the moment the sun rose over the skeletal remains of the Vegas strip, that it was going to be a terrible day. He could feel it in his bones, in the stiffness of muscles despite the plush comfort of the bed they were sleeping in, and in the way his arm and shoulder felt numb, even though they hadn't needed to kill anything in the last week. He and Axel were squatting in a penthouse suite at the Mirage, personally taking advantage of the liquor cabinets in all the rooms while they celebrated two years on the road. They hadn't seen any infected for miles as they drove through Death Valley into Sin City, but when Roxas heard an unearthly scream characteristic of a zombie in the afternoon, he shrugged and went out to debrain the thing.

And this was how they died, out on the Vegas strip with the sun bearing down on them from above, and zombies on all sides.

It shouldn't have been a problem. A couple of the zombies had mutated infections, so they were a little faster and more difficult to deal with, but he and Axel had faced much worse odds.

When Roxas shot the last one point-blank between the eyes, watching and reveling for a few moments in the disintegrating grey matter and blood, he looked over to check on Axel and was startled by what he saw.

Axel had been bitten.

There was no doubt about it; his shirt was torn and drenched in blood, gushing between his fingers where he held the wound. His skin was covered by a thick layer of sweat already, blood trailing down his arm and dripping quickly to the ground.

Roxas watched in horror, not wanting to face what he had to do, as the blood vessels in Axel's eyes started popping, white slowly blooming in red.

"Kill me!" he demanded. "What are you waiting for?"

Shaking uncontrollably, Roxas pulled out his handgun – the one Axel had given him, the one he'd used to kill Xigbar, the one he'd nicknamed Absalom – but found he couldn't pull the trigger. For the first time in his life, or at least since his first time holding a gun, he hesitated as he witnessed the infection take over the man he . . .

"I-" Roxas stuttered, his mouth dry in the desert heat. "I can't."

"Kill me!" Axel screamed desperately. "You promised you would!"

Roxas' hand shook harder as moisture pooled in his eyes; he wiped them away angrily. This was the price he paid for his emotions. Axel's movements became jerky, the whites of his eyes now completely red, still screaming things both intelligible and unintelligible; he bent over and vomited, black blood pouring over the street, signaling the second stage of infection. It wouldn't be long now.

"I-I," Roxas swallowed, hoping Axel was still in there somewhere. "I love you," he choked, forcing it past his throat and tongue; the confession tasted like bile and blood.

Axel paused, staggering for a second; then he screamed, eyes blood red and mindless, teeth and mouth caked in black blood, and Roxas knew he was dead. He fired a single shot, catching him right between the eyes, and watched his body crumble.

Roxas stared, his body quaking as tears coursed over his cheeks, unnoticed. In his last moments, he had let Axel down; he'd allowed him to experience the horrific pain of infection and death despite whole-hearted promises to kill before it got too far. Suddenly he was awash in anger, anger at Axel for getting himself bitten, anger at himself for being so weak, anger at the knowledge that he'd just been forced to kill the man he loved, at the realization that this was, well and truly, the end. He knew he wouldn't make it much farther, not alone and not in this state of mind.

_Emotionally compromised._

Then Roxas put the gun to his own temple, and fired a second time.

*

The thing about Bonnie and Clyde is that they had other people to tell their story, to turn it into ballads and rap songs; to publish poetry and newspaper articles; they had photographs, proof of their existence.

No one knew Axel and Roxas had died, and most probably didn't care; no one wrote ballads in their honor or even knew their story, though Axel did leave a journal behind of their escapades, hidden under the mattress of their penthouse suit. The bombs destroyed that evidence of their existence too, barely a few months after the last shot Absolom fired.


End file.
